A poem "for" Indiana Governor Mike Pence

 

 

For Indiana Governor Mike Pence

 

Mike Pence,

Who ain’t worth two cents,

How does your Indiana garden grow?

With overgrown noxious weeds,

Gnarly young tree sprouts,

And piercing, stabbing thorns

All over the place, of course!



My Deeply-Held Religious Convictions--A Poem in "Honor" of Indiana's RFRA

 

My Deeply-Held Religious Convictions

 

Dedicated to Indiana’s new Religious Freedom Restoration Act
[Originally published April 2015]



 

prevent me from

upholding,

condoning, or

tacitly tolerating

any form of

assholery whatsoever,

in any way, shape,

or form.

Therefore, as a

Hoosier professing these

deeply-held

religious convictions,

I hereby declare that

I will

in no way

tolerate,

serve,

or pander to

any type of

asshole

whatsoever,

under any

circumstances,

while I reside

in the

State of Indiana;

but will

deliberately

discriminate against

any and all

assholes

I come into

contact with!

No exceptions!

(And no,

no exception

for you,

Indiana

Governor Pence—

or for

any member

of the

Indiana

General Assembly

who made

this legal atrocity

the law of the

Hoosier land.)