HERMAN CAIN, JOE PATERNO, PENN STATE AND ME

This is from the routine I would've performed at Open Mic Comedy Night at Locals Only the evening of November 19, 2011. But I had to work overtime that night, and also, my computer was down and in the repair shop until Monday morning, so I couldn't notify anyone. but since i invited a number of people to hear my new Herman Cain, Joe Paterno, and Penn State jokes, and they were widely anticipated (ir at least I like to think so), I'm offering them here on "Politically Incorrect Leftist"--GF

I want to begin with a little reader participation (use the “Comments” box at the end to reply). How many of you are excited by, or even interested in, Herman Cain’s campaign for the Republican Presidential nomination? How many of you think Herman Cain makes a better pizza than he does a Presidential candidate!

Herman Cain’s campaign is right on top of the sexual harassment issue. From now on, Herman Cain will give a free pizza to every woman he harasses who keeps her mouth shut!

Herman Cain now joins Joe Paterno, Jerry Sandusky, the former president of Penn State, as objects of anger by public opinion for what they’ve done, which involves a very important moral issue—namely, bigwigs getting caught! Penn State has also become an object lesson in what happens when you cover up pedophilia—you lose to Nebraska, 17-14!

Yes, I know, that’s a little like saying “You know, Hitler really was a bad guy after all, because he lost the war.” And some of you might be muttering now to yourselves, “There’s a comedian in every house, even among those who perform at Open Mic Comedy Night.” And I can hear the objections now, “George, you’re not as stupid as you look, you’re stupider.” But I do want to say if what I’ve put on paper above confuses or offends any of you, tough shit! And on giving offense, I simply recall those profound words of my mother, who took great offense at those who gave offense, unless, of course, she was the one doing the offending. I can hear her now—“Well! If you can’t say anything good about Adolf Hitler, don’t say anything at all!”

But I don’t want to end on a negative note. In fact, I’m going to end by praising someone you might think doesn’t deserve any praise at all, but he really does; he was really the most accomplished man in history. I’m talking about Attila the Hun. Just think—he sacked Rome, destroyed Graeco-Roman culture, and plunged Europe into the Dark Ages, from which it took a thousand years to recover. Now that’s accomplishment!