A New Autobiographical Poem of Mine

A new autobiographical poem about my "absolutely wonderful" mother (of course, I'm speaking ironically), which follows upon and complements my previous "Politically Incorrect Leftist" blogs, "Confessions of a 'Misogynist' Feminist,"  http://politicallyincorrectleftist.blogspot.com/2019/07/confessions-of-misogynist-feminist.html; "For Mother's Day: for those women who were really 'mothers'," http://politicallyincorrectleftist.blogspot.com/2011/05/on-mothers-day-for-those-mothers-who.html; and "Guest Blog by my friend John Williams: The Woman You Thought You Knew," http://politicallyincorrectleftist.blogspot.com/2011/05/guest-blog-from-my-friend-john-williams.html.

 “Burns my butt!”

 

“Burns my butt!”

my mother would

irritably scream

whenever she got

angry, which was

frequently.

I burnt her butt

lots of times

when I grew up!

Also, “All women

just hate that!” she’d

also scream—that

being males such

as myself urinating

standing up, thus,

according to her,

always “dripping

and splashing.”

Occasionally, she’d

also apply that to

men not lowering

the toilet seat—

which does have

more justification,

prima facie, because,

after all, it’s a known

biological fact that

women are born

without arms and

hands, thus, of

necessity, requiring

—men—to lower

the toilet seat for

them!  When I told

this to my girlfriend,

she snorted with

contempt.  However,

a female therapist put

it more analytically,

“Your mother confused

the social position of

women with a

biological function

of men.”  Sheesh! 

No wonder my

mother was truly a

“mother” in that

compound word

sense of being

a “mother” coupled

with a word that

begins with “f”

                                                               and ends with “cker”!